Everything Falls Apart
by tjmack
Summary: Sequel to 'An Unkindness of Ravens'. Must read that to read this...*look inside for full summary*
1. Life In A Glass House

Everything Falls Apart

Summary: Peyton Sawyer had always lived a hard life, but shortly after finding out she was pregnant with Lucas Scott's child, the two married. Peyton never thought she could be so happy. She had, for a while at least, hoped to one day become Ms. Peyton Scott. Sometimes though, when one dream comes true, another one comes to halting stop.

Chapter One: Life In A Glass House

Lucas stood just inside the living room, of the house that he shared with his wife. Well, if she could even be called that anymore. She hadn't so much as looked at him in days, and hasn't spoken but two words to him in a few months. They had been married for a little over a year now. Peyton had been six months pregnant when they got married, and two months later she ran into some complications with her pregnancy. Although the baby had survived being born, it died a short time later. Peyton pretty much stopped communicating with anyone, including her husband, who now stood staring sadly at his wife who had been perched on the couch, staring out into nothingness for days now.

"Peyt," Lucas felt himself say before he could realize what he was doing.

He hadn't really spoken much himself either. While at first he had been timid about becoming a father, by the time they were married, he was so excited. He knew what Peyton was going through, since it was his child too that they had lost. He let his head hang when she didn't even to face him. He felt as if it was his fault that their baby had been born nearly two months premature, although he knew deep down that it wasn't. No one could have foreseen that she would have complications so late in her pregnancy.

Lucas felt as his body started to shake, as hot tears fell from his eyes. He walked slowly toward the couch that Peyton refused to leave, and sat down beside her. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders, and saw that her eyes were red-rimmed, signaling that she too had been crying. With his free hand Lucas wiped away the remaining tears in his eyes, before placing his thumb on her chin. He forced her to look at him, as he drew in a long, agonizing breath.

"Peyton Scott, I love you with all my heart. I know we're both having a hard time dealing with it, but I promise you...I will be here, I will _always_ be here," Lucas said, as he felt more tears press against his closed eyelids.

He stifled the small sob in his throat before opening his eyes. His thumb no longer on Peyton's chin, but she was actually holding eye contact with him, which was a step forward, from her ignoring him completely. She let out a long, pained sigh, and let her head lay on his shoulder.

Lucas let a small smile fall upon his lips for a mere second, feeling for once in six months that he had indeed accomplished something remotely close to important. His wife, who hasn't spoken to him in at least three of the those six months, was actually laying her head on his shoulder, seeking comfort that he so badly wanted to give her.

Lucas immediately wrapped both of his arms around Peyton's small frame, as her body wracked violently with sobs. He let one hand rub small soothing circles in the small of her back, while his other hand smoothed back her unruly head of blond curls.

"Please talk to me Peyt. Please," Lucas begged, as he slowly rearranged himself, before pulling Peyton into his lap fully, letting her head fall against his chest. He was doing his best to calm her sobs, but even that wasn't enough. They had seemed to pick up intensity, as her small body jumped repeatedly.

Lucas sighed, knowing he had failed to do even the one thing he used to be good at. He used to be able to calm Peyton with the slightest touch of a hand, but even that didn't seem to be working this time around.

"IIIIII...It's...MMMMM...My...FFFFault," Peyton was able to stumble out of her mouth in between sobs, her pale green eyes staring back into his intense blue ones.

"No it's not honey...Don't blame yourself," Lucas said in a soft, comforting voice.

For the first time in months he had actually noticed that her eyes no longer held the glow that they had before. The glow of a woman happy with her life, and were it was headed. Now they were pale, and void of any feeling. He suddenly realized that while his wife, for the figurative part, was alive and well. Her mental and emotional side had died just as soon as their son had. While Lucas had lost his Uncle Keith in an act of violence so sinister, that it was far beyond wrong. Peyton had lost more people, in a much shorter amount of time. No one, no matter what, should ever have to deal with that amount of loss in an entire lifetime, let alone in a short fifteen to twenty year time period.

"Peyton, I know this is really hard on you, but you've gotta start living again. You need to do it for me, but mostly you need to do it for yourself..." Lucas let his sentence trail off as her eyes met his again.

This time though they weren't devoid of feeling, no this time they held a fiery anger that Lucas had never seen in Peyton's eyes before.

"What did you just say!?" she screamed at him, jumping from his embrace, her eyes doing the yelling and screaming that her voice couldn't handle.

"It's just, it's been six months Peyton, and yeah it's hard. I mean I feel like I wanna cry every morning I get up, but I still do it. Life doesn't just stop when we lose someone, and I know it's hard to pick yourself up, but you still have to do it," Lucas said honestly, his voice soft and caring.

"No! You did not just say that to me. So what, I should be enough of a pro at losing people, that I should just roll over and say 'To hell with it...I'm Peyton Sawyer, people always leave...so I just have to get right back up on that damned horse called life because my husband needs me..." Peyton paused, her eyes held a dangerous look in them before she continued. "Screw you Luke, just leave me the hell alone. I don't need you to fix me this time."

"Peyt..."

"No, just go, just leave me alone, please," she said more calmly, unable to fight him anymore.

"No, I won't, you need me. Whether you want to need me or not, it doesn't change the fact that you do need me. I am your husband, and I'm going to stand by you. If it takes you years to get over this, then I will still be here. I love you Peyton Scott, and nothing will ever change that," Lucas said as he stood up, and placed his long muscular arms around her, engulfing her entire body in a warm hug.

He felt as the sobs over took her again, and he decided to just let her cry it out. 'At least,' he thought, 'She's grieving correctly now.'


	2. Where Did You Sleep Last Night?

Chapter Two: Where Did You Sleep Last Night

Peyton sat up in bed. Sweat rolling down her forehead, continuing it's track down her cheeks until it fell onto the comforter that was covering her body. It was nightmare number three on the night, a new record for her. There for a while the nightmares had ceased, and she had actually thought that she was starting to get over it, but here she was in a room that was not her own, laying in a bed that wasn't hers sweating one of the coldest sweats she had in the months after her miscarriage.

She let her face fall into her knees, as it all became real, all over again. Tears slid down her cheeks, as she tried to hide the wails that wanted to come out. Afraid she might wake Brooke up, she buried her face further into the comforter, and for the first time since it had happened, she kind of hoped that if she shoved her face into the cover far enough, maybe...just maybe she'd just stop breathing. At least then the continued dull ache that held it's place in her heart would finally go away.

She shook her head, with how comforting that sounded, she couldn't do that to Lucas. Quite frankly, she couldn't do that to any of her friends. She could already see the guilt-ridden looks on all her friends faces. The reddened and tear-streaked face of her husband...'Husband.' She sighed, she knew she hadn't been fair to Lucas lately. She'd quit talking to him altogether. That wasn't fair to him in the least bit, not when he had been trying so hard to help her through everything. Trying to help her grieve properly. What did she do? She shut him out completely, cutting him off to what was going on in her mind.

"Hey," she heard Brooke say from the door.

She was so deep into her own thoughts that she hadn't heard the door squeak open.

"Hey," Peyton said, her voice held the exhaustion that she was feeling.

"How you feeling?" Brooke asked, as she leaned against the door jam.

* * *

She had become increasingly worried about Peyton, especially after Lucas told her, that Peyton wouldn't talk to him. Peyton was never one to be open about her feelings, especially when she was grieving, or at least supposed to be grieving. When Lucas had told her that he had made a slight break-through with her, Brooke's concerns dissipated, or at least they had until Peyton practically knocked down her front door at two this morning.

Her eyes were red-rimmed, as the last remnants of the tears that she had shed came to a stop. Brooke had immediately taken her into her arms, and let her shed more tears, before asking her what brought her out quite so late...or early depending on how you look at it. Peyton explained that she had, had another one of her recurring nightmares, and she suddenly realized for the hundredth time that her baby had died.

Brooke couldn't turn her down or away. So she grabbed a couple of blankets from the hall closet along with a pillow, and let her crash in the guest bedroom. She had wanted to call Lucas, but Peyton explained that everything would be fine, that she had left a note telling him where she had went.

She now knew that was a lie, as Lucas had just called. He wanted to know if she knew where Peyton was. She could tell by the high pitch of his voice, that he was worried, and most likely pacing the floor.

"Yeah, I'm coming around...although I just had another nightmare," Peyton sighed, she figured that they'd never go away.

"Okay well first off, would you like to tell me why you lied to me?" Brooke asked, her eyes focusing on Peyton as she hung her head.

* * *

Peyton hadn't wanted to lie to Brooke, but she knew that Brooke would call him. Then he'd come over and try to talk her into going back home, or worse...try to make her talk about her feelings. She knew that Lucas deserved her to talk to him about what was going on in her head. They were married, and they had both lost their unborn child, but like Peyton explained to Brooke, it's totally different for a woman when they lose a child, more so than it is for a man. Lucas didn't have to carry the baby like she had...she had a special bond with their child even before it was born, and to find out that your child won't even get to breathe it's first breathe. That just takes all will to live out of a person. She assumed that it would get easier, at least a little easier as time went on, but so far it hadn't.

"I knew you'd call him," Peyton sighed before continuing. "I just, I knew he'd come over and try to talk me into going home, and I love him Brooke I do. It's just, he tries to make me talk about it all, and I'm just...I can't, I don't grieve well and if anyone knows that it's you. You know that I don't open up easily, not to anyone, and I just...I don't wanna look weak in his eyes," Peyton let her head fall into her hands as she tried to understand how her life had gotten so far off track.

"He loves you Peyton, you are his wife. He wants to be there for you, he wants to see you through this, but you are not making it easy on him. I know it's hard for you Peyton, I understand that, I really do, but he is a good guy Peyton, a really good guy, and he just...he deserves a little bit better than how you've been treating him. I know your having a hard time, I do, it's just...let him in," Brooke really enucated the last part of her sentence hoping Peyton would listen.

"Your right Brooke...it's not fair to him, and he does deserve better. That's why I've decided to let him go. At least until I figure out what the hell I'm doing, and get over all of this, because all I'm going to end up doing right now is cause him to hate me. That I don't want, so I figure it'll just be easier to let him go on my own terms than to have him hate me so bad that he just leaves me," Peyton said.

"No...no! That is not what I said, I said you need to open up to him, to let him in. Not to let him go, that is like the opposite of what I said. Dammit why do you not listen," Brooke asked.

"I've already decided Brooke..." Peyton let her sentence trail off, as she got out of bed and slipped on her shoes.

"Where are you going?" Brooke asked, her eyes still wide from Peyton's new found proclamation.

"To talk to Lucas," Peyton said simply.

Brooke shook her head, 'When will I learn to leave well enough alone?' she asked herself.

* * *

Peyton unlocked the front door and saw Lucas pacing the floor as he dialed another number.

"I'm sorry," she said softly as she walked further in, and stepped in front of him.

"Oh god," Lucas said, as he wrapped his arms around her.

Peyton sighed as she let her body melt into his, she needed to feel his arms around her once more time before she told him what she needed to.

"Lucas...we need to talk," Peyton said, dreading the words as they came from her mouth. This...wasn't going to be easy.


	3. Crying Won't Help Me Now

**Okay, Update time...I know shocker right...Sorry about the long wait on this one...I've been having some issues. I've kind of changed the direction on this one. Also LP will start working on getting through their issues...**

Chapter Three: Crying Won't Help Me Now

Lucas paced around the small living room at his mother's house. It had been two weeks since Peyton had told Lucas that she needed space. He wasn't stupid though, he knew that was code for 'just leave me alone.' He didn't know what he had done so wrong. He had just been trying to help her, and he thought he had been breaking though. Although he must have been wrong otherwise she wouldn't have kicked him out.

"Lucas honey, please sit down," Karen begged.

She was rocking Lily to sleep, and Lucas's nervous pacing wasn't helping.

"I'm sorry mom...I just..." he trailed off, as he wiped at the tears he had been trying to keep from falling.

"I know your hurting Lucas, but I also know that whatever this is...it's not permanent. She just needs some space honey, sometime to really register it all," Karen explained, even though she knew deep down she didn't have to.

No matter how much this hurt him, Lucas knew deep down that she'd let him back in. Just like his mom had said, she just needed her space, her time to think it all through. He just hoped that it wouldn't take very long. He never really liked being away from Peyton, especially now.

"I know mom. I really do. It just hurts. It feels like she doesn't want me to help her through this. She isn't the only one who lost a child, and she acts like she is. I lost our baby girl too, and it hurts me too. It hurts me to know I'll never get to see my little girl grow up. That my little sister and my little girl won't grow up together. So if she thinks that I'm not hurting she's wrong because I am. I just, I know that life has to go on. You grieve and you move on...but that's her problem. She hasn't grieved. I don't know if she thinks that if she doesn't grieve that it's like it didn't happen, but whatever reason she has, she just needs to find away to grieve it out and move on. I need my wife..." That was all it took as Lucas broke down into tears, collapsing into the chair that happened to be right behind him.

Karen looked at him, her eyes sad, holding the slightest hint of tears. No one really knew how badly Lucas had taken the loss of his baby daughter, but seeing him now, Karen knew that he had taken it pretty badly. If she didn't know better, she would have thought that he had been blaming himself. It upset her that both Lucas and Peyton thought they were to blame for the complications. Even after the doctor explained that even the healthiest of pregnancies have complications sometimes. It was upsetting that the little baby girl Scott didn't get to see life, didn't get to grow up and be the beautiful young woman that Karen knew she would have been. It also upset her to know that her daughter and grand-daughter wouldn't grow up together, but like in the face of every tragedy, at least Peyton had made it through the very difficult birth alive. Sometimes, no matter how hard the doctor's might try, they lose both. She shook her head, and knew that her son wouldn't have been able to survive the loss of his child and wife all in the same day.

She stood up, laying Lily down in her small bassinet before walking over toward the chair Lucas was slumped over in.

"Luke, honey, please look at me," Karen begged.

Lucas lifted his head for his hands, to look at his mother.

"I know this is hard for you honey, but believe me, with time it will get better. Peyton will be able to move on from this, but it's going to be hard for her. I know that losing the baby hurt you, I really do Lucas. You just, you have to see this from Peyton's point of view. She carried that baby for nearly seven months. When your carrying a child, you have a special bond with it. It's so very hard to explain honey, but she feels like she didn't do enough to protect and keep her safe. That if she had done everything in her power to protect her, then she wouldn't have died. In all reality, she did do everything she could have, sometimes though...Sometimes god has another plan for us. You may not understand it honey, but you will when your supposed to. Give her the time she needs Lucas, I promise you, she'll come back to. She'll come back, and she will let you help her, she'll let you in," Karen explained to her son, and watched as his tears slowly dissipated.

"Thanks mom, I don't know what I'd do without you," Lucas said, giving her a weak smile.

Karen returned the smile, and turned back toward Lily, tears apparent in her eyes. She had hoped that Lucas hadn't seen them, and if he did, she hoped that he thought it was because he was upset.

"Mom, what's wrong?" he asked.

She shook her head, as she turned around. This was going to be the hardest conversation she'd ever have to have with him.

* * *

Peyton sat on the couch, an empty beer bottle sitting on the table and a book sitting beside her. It had been nearly two weeks since she had asked Lucas for some time. Two weeks, and yet it had felt like months. She realized that while he was always trying to get her to talk, even if she wasn't ready, she needed him around. Needed him beside her to hold her while she cried. To promise her everything would be okay, even if he didn't quite believe it himself. She also realized that since she had lived with him for as long as she has, that she doesn't like being alone anymore.

The silence she found, eats at you like a plague. It lets in the sorrow and grief, and it makes her want to cry. She had called Brooke only an hour earlier, begging her to come over. To keep her company, she explained that she couldn't take the silence anymore. Brooke though, she wasn't exactly happy with Peyton right now. She told her what a mess Lucas was, and that he needed her as bad as she needed him.

So now she sets alone on the couch, her knees pulled up to her chest, as a lone tear slid down her cheek. She had made a mistake. She shouldn't have asked him to leave, to give her space.

Her heart leapt at the sound of knocking on the door. She stood up, brushed the tear from her face, as she slowly made her way toward the door. She could see the lone silhouette at the door and knew that it was either Lucas or Nathan, but she hoped and prayed it was Lucas. She could really use his strong arms right about now.

She pulled the door open to see her husband on the other side, his eyes red-rimmed and puffy. He was trying to contain himself, but at the sight of his wife, he burst into tears.

"I'm so sorry Lucas," Peyton said, figuring he was crying over her.

"It's my mom Peyt...she's dying..." his voice cracked under the unshed tears.

"Oh my god," Peyton said, pulling him into her arms, as he cried on her shoulder.

'Why always them?' Peyton thought to herself, as she stood in the doorway holding her husband as he cried into her shoulder.


	4. Crash Course Into Polite Conversation

**Okay, I'm gonna take a shot in the dark and say maybe two, possibly three more chapters left in this one. It's gonna get a bit more darker, with slight hints of fluff mixed in. I've already decided that unless I get a lot of reviews requesting it, there probably won't be another sequel. Now onto the update, I hope you enjoy! Remember Read and REVIEW :D**

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Chapter Four: Crash Course Into Polite Conversation

Peyton sat across from Lucas, tears sat still in her eyes. Unwilling to let them fall, sniffed them back silently, and sat upright. Lucas's blue eyes had dulled dramatically over the past two weeks. Losing that love of life they used to hold. Now his eyes were just dull and pale, trying to hide a secret pain that wasn't quite so secret to her. She had noticed how quickly she was able to get over her inability to grieve over their child, and help Lucas come to terms with the fact that his mother had only six months to a year left in her. The doctor had tried to explain to them what was wrong with her, and what this meant for the remainder of her time, but they hadn't really understood that it would be so difficult so soon.

Karen was already having trouble getting up and moving around by herself. Lucas and Peyton had both her and Lily moved in with them, since Karen needed care that she couldn't or wouldn't get on her own. This was the start of a very long, very difficult time for the couple. It was like a never-ending test that god was giving them. Like he wanted them to fail horribly at it, like that was his goal. Peyton though, she promised Lucas she'd be there through it all. She had been there, not once, but twice. She had lost two mothers in her lifetime, if anyone could help someone get over the death of a parent, of a loved one, it was Peyton Scott.

"Lucas, where's your mind at?" Peyton asked finally.

She watched, as he slowly made eye contact with her. His eyes full of unshed tears, sparkling in the light of the early afternoon sunlight.

"Why does this stuff always happen to us? I mean, we were happy Peyton, and then...Now my mom..It's not fair you know? It's like god is punishing us for something, but refuses to tell us what we did wrong. I just want to know what I did wrong, what we did wrong..." Lucas's head fell into his hands as he started to cry.

Peyton's heartbroke at the sight. She hadn't never really seen Lucas cry much, and the sight was just sad enough to break just about anyone's heart. She stood up from her seat and walked over to him and sat down next to him. She rubbed his back softly, before pulling him into a half hug.

"I know that it's hard Lucas, I do. I know that just a month and a half ago our roles were reversed and I didn't listen to you. I see that now, and Lucas you've gotta believe me when I tell you that it will get easier. By no means does the pain ever go away, and there will be days when all you think about is your mom, but it does get easier. The pain eventually dulls just enough for you to live a seemingly normal life. Hell, you can even seem happy to people on some occasions, but it will always be there. Your heart will always have a dull ache where your mom used to be," Peyton let her words sink in before she continued.

"With that said, she will always be with you. In your heart, in your mind, she will always be with you. Just like Keith is, and believe me when I tell you this Lucas. She will want you to go on with your life. She will want you to move on with your life. I know your mom Luke, she wouldn't want you to dwell on her, she wouldn't want that to keep you from living a full and happy life."

Lucas pulled his head, his eyes bloodshot from lack of sleep. "What about Lily? What about my baby sister. She won't know her mom, or her dad. She won't get the greatest gift of knowing what wonderful people her mom and dad are. I have to grieve for both of us because she's to young to. What about her Peyton?"

"Well, if your mom wants, we'll raise your sister Lucas. We'll make sure she knows how wonderful Karen and Keith are. We'll make sure she understands everything Lucas, I promise," Peyton caressed his cheek lightly.

"I don't know what I'd do without you," he said it sincerely, his lips kissing her cheek softly.

"Your never gonna have to find out," Peyton promised him, as she pulled him into another hugged, before they both fell against the couch, his head falling onto her shoulder.

This was the first real conversation they had, had in two weeks time. It was a nice feeling that Peyton had almost forgotten existed, she had missed talking with Lucas. Really talking, and listening, if only it were under better circumstances. She held his hand tightly in hers, rubbing the back of it with her thumb.

* * *

Lucas sat on the edge of Karen's bed. She was sleeping peacefully, and he smiled softly and briefly before the thought of thinking she was sleeping but she's not, entered his mind. He frowned deeply, crease lines in his forehead. He brushed back a stray strand of hair out of her face. She stirred slightly, before turning on her back and look at him.

"Lucas, please make me a promise," Karen asked, her voice already becoming weaker.

Lucas wasn't even sure if she had six months like the doctor said. "Anything, mom."

"Don't grieve over me for long. Just, move on, make a life with Peyton, be happy. It hurts to see you like this Lucas. Your eyes used to hold such a great love of life, and now...their just dull. Like someone turned out that light. I don't want that for you Lucas. I know your upset and sad, and I know that you don't want me to go. I don't really want to either Lucas, but frankly? It's life, and I've grown to accept it, now it's your turn. I need you to look after your baby sister Lucas. To make sure she grows into the respectable young lady I know she can be under your and Peyton's guidance. Please Lucas," Karen nearly begged.

This made Lucas's heart break all over again, he brushed away a stray tear. "I promise mom."

He wasn't sure if he could really just 'move on' after she was gone, but he'd damn sure try. He had too, not only because he promised his mom, but for Lily, she would really need him after his mom was gone.

* * *

_So, what did you think? Did ya like it? Hate it? Think I'm horrible for killing Karen? Let me know! Reviews make the fanfiction world go round, and I love hearing what you guys think. Have any ideas for future chapters, let me know, if I use your idea, I'll credit you. :D_


	5. Songs To Love and Die By

**Sorry this chapter is a little on the short side, but I felt that was a perfect place to end the chapter. Update coming as soon as possible!**

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Chapter Five: Songs To Love and Die By

Lucas sat in a plastic orange, highly uncomfortable hospital chair. It had only been a matter of days, no more than a week since the doctor told them that Karen had six months left. A week, and she was already in the hospital, possibly for good. She had stopped breathing in the middle of the night, and luckily they had hooked her up to a machine that records both her heart and her breathing. That had happened nearly seven hours ago, and here they were, still sitting in the damned emergency room, on a damned plastic chair, waiting for someone to tell them what was going on.

Peyton watched Lucas carefully, his hands were nervously wringing together, his eyes darted around the room waiting for some sign that someone was coming. Sweat had formed on his forehead, and was currently making a long journey down his face, intermingling with his tears. On one arm, she held little Lilly firmly, giving her a gentle rock when it sounded like she might start to wail. Her other arm was placed firmly a crossed Lucas' shoulders.

She had only recently called the rest of the gang, and to Lucas' dismay, they all knew that Karen was slowly dying. She knew they'd be there any minute, and she knew she had to tell Lucas that they were coming.

"I called everyone Luke," she finally blurted out.

"You what?" he asked, his voice was low, almost inaudible, but Peyton heard it, and the dangerous tone that came with it.

"They'd want to be here for you. They'd be upset if I didn't call them Lucas, you know that," Peyton said softly.

"I don't want them here Peyton! Dammit! Can't I just deal with this on my own? Why the hell can't you and everyone else just leave me the hell alone! My mom is dying, she's dying Peyton and there isn't a damn thing I can do about it. I can't save her...Why can't I save her...I just want to save her..." Lucas fell to his knees, as tears streamed down his cheeks.

Peyton looked at him, part of her was happy that he was getting it out instead of keeping it in. While the other part was hurt by his words. She used her now free hand to wipe the tears that threatened to fall from her eyes.

"Lucas Eugene Scott!" a voice shrilled from behind.

Peyton's head snapped up, and saw the fury in Haley's eyes. She was throughly pissed right now. Lucas' head snapped around, sending a glare toward Haley. Haley didn't even flinch.

"Peyton, Brooke and Nate, please give me and my friend a second," Haley said.

Peyton shook her head, needing to just get away from it all for a minute. Nathan placed a hand on her back, trying to soothe her, seeing the tears built up in her eyes.

"He's hurting Peyt, he didn't mean it. You know he didn't mean it, he needs you, and that on top of everything else scares him. He isn't used to needing someone so badly, he's used to being the one that's there for everyone, not the other way around. He'll be fine, eventually, and I know that hurt you, I do, but he needs you," Nathan whispered softly into her ear.

"I know Nate, I do, but it didn't make it hurt any less. I was in his place just about a month earlier, so I know how he feels. I just, I don't want him to push me away, I want him to reach out for me. I want to be there for him, I want him to want me there," Peyton sighed, as she looked back, and watched Haley wrap her arms around Lucas. Even though she knew that they had been friends for years, she still felt the tiniest pang of jealously run through her body. That should be her comforting her husband.

"Your jealous aren't you?" Nathan asked, this got Brooke's attention, and she definitely saw the jealous Peyton look on her face.

"I can't help it, I really can't. I love Hales to death, but that should be me...I'm just thinking..maybe he doesn't love me anymore," Peyton sighed, shrugged off Nathan's arm, and walked out of the hospital, she couldn't take it any longer.

* * *

Nathan sighed heavily before turning around and walking back toward Haley, he tapped her shoulder and waited for her to stand up. After glaring at him for a minute, she stood up and looked at him, her arms folded a crossed her chest.

"Peyton thinks he doesn't love her anymore, Hales. She left, she was crying, she was upset, and she has Lilly," Nathan spouted off the information.

"Oh, geeze, crap, okay," Haley sighed, before bending back down to talk to Lucas.

* * *

Peyton sat on the couch, tears falling freely down her cheeks. Her suitcase was packed, and sat by her feet. All Lucas had to do was give her the word and she was gone. She didn't want to leave him, and if he told her to stay she would, but it was obvious that he didn't' need her, and almost equally as obvious that he didn't want her.

"Peyt," his voice cracked from the door.

She turned toward him, his eyes bloodshot and red-rimmed.

"She flat lined Peyt, they made me leave...she's dying and they kicked me out. I don't know what to do...I need you Peyton," his voice cracked, as tears ran down his cheeks.

"I'm here baby, I'm here," she said, embracing him, as he slid down the wall and sat on the floor crying into Peyton's shoulder.

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_**I wanna send a shout out thanks to:**_

_**Lostand1TreeHillfan**_

_**Trublonde18**_

_**RJMoonspell4 **_

_**For the kind reviews that they left. There is only going to be one more chapter to this one...and then an epoluge..i've already decided against a sequel. Remember Read and REVIEW!**_


	6. Love Remains The Same

**Okay so this is the second to the last chapter. The next one will be an Epoiluge, and it will be set into the future, I'll say, probably a year.**

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Chapter Six: Love Remains The Same

Peyton rubbed his back soothingly, trying to give him the comfort he was so desperately seeking. All the while his words drilling into her brain. 'I need you Peyton.' She used her free hand to lift his head up so his eyes were looking into hers.

"Lucas, I need you to know that I'm here. I'm not going anywhere. I'll always be here, right here," Peyton said, before kissing his forehead.

His deep ocean blue eyes were now puffy and red-rimmed. She could see the sadness hidden inside them. The unshed tears that demanded to fall. All of it, all of the pain and hurt that hid in his eyes broke her heart. She loved him so truly and deeply, and one look from his pained eyes were all it took to bring tears to hers. She pulled him into her chest, hugging him tightly to her, as her own tears fell from her eyes.

All she wanted to know was when would it end? When all would all the heartache, and heartbreak end? When could they be happy, just happy? Was that not in the cards for them? Had they not earned a life of happiness? Had they not shed enough hurt and pain?

"Peyt," his voice cracked, his throat had long since ran dry. "I need you...I need to feel close to you."

Peyton just shook her head in acknowledgment, and pulled his muscular body closer to hers, and kissed the top of his head. She looked at him in confusion as he started to pull away from her, and grabbed her hand.

"I need you," was all he could say, as he lead her toward their bedroom.

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Once inside the room, he put his long arms around her thin frame and pulled her into his body, and pressed his lips to hers.

"Lucas, I don't think now is the t-"

"Listen to me, please. This isn't what it seems like. It's not comfort sex..I just. My world is crashing down around me. I feel like it's spinning out of control, and I've lost any control I might have had. I need to feel close to someone, I _need_ to feel close to _you_," he stressed his words carefully.

She shook her head in acknowledgment, as he let his lips travel down her neck and graze across her collarbone, sending shivers down her spine. He pulled his arms off of her long enough to pull his shirt up over his head. Exposing his toned body, and defined abs. Peyton's hand grazed across his pecs, and traveled slowly down to his abs, letting fingers travel down to his navel, before putting them around his waist. Lucas lifted her enough to lay her on the bed before ridding his body of his jeans before joining her on the bed.

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Lucas let his fingers move gently on her skin, causing her to shiver and jump every now and again. Her head was resting comfortably on his chest, as her fingers moved up and down his bare stomach.

"Thank you," he said simply.

"Your welcome..." Peyton paused long enough to lift her head so she was looking at him. "I told you, I'm here for you Lucas. Whenever you need, whatever you need."

"I know you are, and I love you for that," he gave her a weak smile before kissing her forehead.

Hoping to stay in this newfound state for just a while longer, if only for a while longer. Of course fate, and life had different plans as the house phone rang loudly. Peyton turned around, and grabbed it from it's charging unit.

"Hello?" she answered.

Lucas watched as her face went from one that looked about as close to happy as they could ever seem to get to nowadays, to one of horror.

"We're on our way," Peyton sighed, as she disconnected the call and hung up the phone.

"What's wrong? Is it my mom?" Lucas asked, as he sat up quickly.

Peyton didn't know what to say, what do you say to someone when their parent dies? She was always the one on the other end of that, being on the giving side sucked. She didn't want to be the one to break his heart.

"I—I'm so sorry Lucas.." she started, as she watched the tears fall from his eyes.

"She's--Dead isn't she?" Lucas asked.

"They tried to resuscitate her, they really did Lucas. She was just too far gone," Peyton sighed, as he nearly shoved her on the ground. Not on purpose mind you, he just jumped from the bed far too quickly. "Lily Luke, grab Lily."

He simply nodded his head, as he ran toward the nursery that had been set up in their house since Peyton had been pregnant.

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It was normally a half hour drive from their house to the hospital, but Peyton made it in only ten minutes. Luckily for them they didn't get pulled over since she was going a far amount over the speed limit. Lucas leapt from the car and sprinted toward the emergency room doors, while Peyton slowly climbed out of the car, and opened the back door and removed Lilly from her car seat.

Peyton took her time walking into the hospital, as a bunch of bad memories flew into her mind. This place never held any good memories. This was the place were her mother died, this was the place that she nearly lost Lucas, more than once. This was the place were she lost her unborn child, and now this was the place that she lost Karen.

"Hey, how you holding up?" Haley asked, her arms folded, as she watched Peyton cradle baby Lilly in her arms.

Haley always knew that Peyton had natural motherly instincts. She could tell it with how well she took care of herself when she was pregnant.

"I don't know, it's just. It's almost like my mind won't process it. Like I'm going to walk in here and she'll be fine, even though I know she won't. I'm way more worried about Luke than me though. I mean, I've lost nearly everyone, except you guys and Lucas, but Lucas, he's only ever lost Keith and well...I just want him to come out of all this okay. I don't want him to end up like me, because god knows you guys don't need two people like me to deal with," Peyton explained.

"What about Lilly?" Haley asked, even though she was certain that Karen would leave Peyton and Lucas to care for her baby daughter.

"Lucas and me are gonna raise her. I know it's gonna be hard on Luke, but I'm willing to do as much as possible. It's just, I don't understand why we can't just be happy. Why we keep getting all these tests, like we're supposed to fail at life or something," Peyton sighed.

"I think it's just god's way of making you the best person you can be," Haley gave her a weak smile, and put her arm around her shoulder as both girls walked into the building.

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They saw Nathan hugging Lucas tightly, tears streaming down both of their faces. Peyton knew that they would have tough times ahead of them, but as long as they faced them together then nothing else mattered. She'd always be there for him, and she knew he'd be there for her if she needed him. It might not be the perfect life that either of them had dreamed of, but sooner or later they'd get their happily ever after, even if it wasn't the happily ever after they always dreamed of.

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**Special Shout-Out Thanks to:**

**Tweetiebird86**

**Lostand1TreeHillfan**

**For their kind reviews. **

**Hope you all enjoyed this one, and remember to Read and REVIEW**


	7. One Year Later

Chapter Seven: One Year Later

It had been a year, one long eventful year. Since Karen had passed on, and Lucas still wasn't quite himself. He was working on it though. He was trying to be a good brother to Lily, who had turned a year old only a few months back. He was trying to be a great husband, but most importantly he was trying to be a good dad.

Peyton gave birth, about ten months after his mother died. It didn't take a rocket scientist for Lucas to figure out when she had gotten pregnant. It wasn't that Lucas wasn't happy to be a father. It see the smile that never leaves his wife's face. It's just hard to be that happy about his new child, when all he can think about is how he lost his mother. A woman that was so full of life, and love. A woman that deserved so much more. A woman that deserved to live.

Lucas shook himself from his thoughts as he cradled the small infant in his arms. A small smile crossed his lips, but slowly disappeared. This was an everyday occurrence for Lucas. He'd watch both Lily and Marcus. He'd hold Marcus close, and watch as his son dribbled a bit a drool down onto his snug fitting pajama's, and he'd get the smallest of smiles on his face. All too soon the smiling was over, and it was back to wondering why he was happy.

Today though was different. Today he stood at the foot of his mother's headstone, thinking back on the life he had lived, and how his mother had always been there for him. Peyton was there too of course. She had left his side only moments ago, to give him some alone time. He knew where she was though. It was the same place she always went when she came here. She was off visiting her mom. He now understood her more than he ever thought he could. He understood why she was always coming out here. Why she was always talking to her mom. Even though it sounded weird to say out loud, it was nice to think that even though they're gone, you can still have discussion with them. For that thought, Lucas was happy. To think that he could still talk to his mom, even if she couldn't say anything back to him.

Readjusting Marcus in his arms, he knelt down beside her headstone, before sitting completely down. He gently rocked Marcus who started getting fussy by all the sudden movement.

"Hey mom, it's been a year. A really long and eventful year. I'm trying to get over it, I'm trying to be happy just like you wanted it. It's just really hard. There are so many thing I miss. I miss talking to you. I miss your ability to know just what to say, and when to say it. Most of all though mom, I miss you," Lucas paused, trying to stifle the tears that threatened to flow. He took a deep breath before continuing.

"We've been working on our marriage, and I think we're doing a fairly good job. We're trying to raise Lily the way you would. We're trying to make sure she turns into a respectable young lady. She's really starting to look like you mom. You'd be so proud of her. She took her first step the other day. I had to leave the room though. It's just sad that you don't get to see your daughter take her first step. Mark's doing good, I really wish he could meet you though. He's such a good baby. He sleeps fairly well through the night, and so does Lily for the most part. Nathan and Haley are expecting their first child. I know what you'd say if you were here though. Took them long enough right? I think they said, that it's going to be a little boy," Lucas paused as a smile crossed his lips at the thought of his son and Nathan's son playing basketball together.

"I just, I want you to know mom that I love you so much, and I miss you. I think I'll probably always miss you, but Peyton's here for me. You'd be so proud of her mom. She's really stepped up mom, and she's so great with Lily and Mark. I just, I can't believe how much I love her. I didn't think I could love her more than I already did, but just watching her with Lily or our son is really making me see just how deep my love runs for her."

"Really," a voice called from behind him.

Lucas turned his head in the direction, and his steel blue eyes caught sight of the deep green ones of his wife's.

"Yes really," he smiled, a real genuine smile.

"Well that's a first," Peyton let a smile cross her lips as well.

"What's that?" Lucas asked, patting a patch of grass beside him.

Peyton walked up, her hand grasping Lily's as they both walked up and sat down in the empty spot of grass.

"Your smiling. A real smile," she said, and as she saw the look cross his face she picked up where she left off. "It's just...I haven't seen that smile in so long. I missed it."

With that, Lucas leaned forward slightly, meeting Peyton's lips halfway, as they shared a small passionate kiss.

"Okay, seriously? Get a room. You've got kids with you," Brooke said, her hands on her hips.

Lucas and Peyton pulled back, as Peyton blushed.

"How sweet of you," Lucas said, as he started to rock a now wailing Marcus.

"Well look, you done went and scarred that beautiful little boy already," Brooke said, before grabbing up and open armed Lily. "How are you doing cutey?"

Lily just gave her a grin.

"That good huh?" Brooke smiled back.

"So, where's that man of yours?" Peyton asked.

"He's parking the car...or something," Brooke said, twirling the engagement ring on her finger.

"You guys set a date yet?" Peyton asked.

"I want a summer, or late summer wedding. Chase wants a late fall, or early winter wedding. Neither of us want to budge. What do you think?" Brooke asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I'm gonna go with a no?" Peyton asked, as Brooke sat down next to her.

"Wow, it's like a reunion," Haley called.

The three of them turned their heads. Haley's hand was resting on her plumb stomach, guarding it from any unknown objects that would want to hurt the precious treasure inside.

"Hey Hales, when are you due? You look like your gonna pop," Peyton said, giggling at Nathan trailing behind, a big bag that Peyton knew was full of food.

"Oh, two months and counting. I just, all I ask of him is to please not hurt me. Does it hurt?" Haley asked, as she put pressure on both Peyton and Lucas' shoulders as she tried each way to lower herself to the ground, but failed each time. "Nathan," she whined.

Peyton watched as Nathan dropped the bag, and placed his hand on Haley's back, and slowly helped her lower herself to the ground.

"You do know that it's going to be near impossible for you to get up right?" Peyton asked.

"That's what he's for," Haley answered, her head nodding toward Nathan, who was now shaking his head. "You didn't answer my question."

"What do you think Hales? Of course it hurts, but it's so worth it, trust me," Peyton said, winking at her, her head nodding toward Lucas who was cradling Marcus in his arms.

"So, how's my best friend?" Haley asked, leaning her head against his shoulder.

"I have my good days...as well as my bad ones. That's why I have her," he said.

There was no need in him saying any names. Everyone knew who he was talking about. They knew that Peyton was there every instant he needed her. They knew that she held him when he started crying for no reason in particular. That she talked to him when he'd have a dream about his mom and wake up crying in the middle of the night. They had saw their friends marriage nearly unravel because of tragedy, but they also saw how tragedy put it all back together and brought them closer than either one of them thought. They had the kind of love and marriage that most people only dreamed of. It was epic of sorts, they were the kind of people that you looked at and your first thought was that they are meant for each other. Each and everyone of them knew it to be true, and seeing them now only proved it true. Today was a sad day for each one of them. Not only did Lucas and Lily lose their mother, but it felt as if the girls had lost one too. Karen had been there at some point or another for each of those girls. She felt like a fill in mother for Brooke, who would have rather have had Karen as a mother. Karen had always been a second mom too Haley. She was there for her since her parents had left town. As far as Peyton went, Karen had always felt like a mother too her as well. So it was like each one of them had lost a parent that day, and that was something that didn't heal easily, but it was something that would get better in time. That's all they needed, just some time.

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**I really hope that you all enjoyed this. I really tried to get Lucas' emotions well, and I hope I did a good job. I thought it would be good to end this one on a somewhat positive note. Reviews are love!**

**Special Shout-out to all my lovely reviewers from the last chapter:**

**Lostand1TreeHillFan**

**TweetieBird86**

**SickLittleSuicide**

**Cayt326**

**Lovely35**

**RJMoonspell4**

**OneTreeHillandBuffy...**

**Thanks to everyone who has reviewed. I have a new story idea that I hope to get written up and posted soon, so definitely keep your eyes posted for it.**


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